Tonight I was in the Glenview hotel watching Boo swim. We go every night now while Bratty goes to Maccas and for a forest walk with her Angel.There was another mum sitting nearby on the plastic patio chairs with a very small but alert little baby in a carry seat. This little baby was wearing the cutest little stripey jumpsuit and was sitting up looking out at the pool where his two brothers were having a swimming lesson. He seemed to be following the sound of his mothers voice as she called to the boys.
And I had a sudden little wistful thought, imagine if my babies were that small again - but I knew what I know now? And I could use that to help them through what was going to be a tough but interesting couple of years as we found out together that they were autistic and more.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change them for a minute. They are who they are because they have autism and they are strong and healthy and robust and vibrant little individuals.
But I would change many of the decisions I made with regard to their intervention, and perhaps save us a lot of lost time and heartache, as I made my way towards the sort of education and daily support that we are enjoying now.
But we didn't know what we were doing as we stood at the top of that slide and there is no magic wand to take you back. There just isn't.
So I guess all we can do is try and help the others that stand there, wondering whether to jump or climb or slide. And try not to mourn whatever loss of potential that has resulted from my bad decisions along the way.
xx
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A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo
And, I'll have you know that I believe that "perfect mothers" do more harm than mothers who make mistakes and can learn from them. I think you are a perfectly imperfect mother for your kids. They are lucky to have you. You are lucky to have them( but you know that).
xoxo
Travel and Living
Most parents must have doubts about decisions they make regarding their children. But, I reckon, none more than parents of Autistic children. Simply because a lot of decisions we make are based on what's available, our location and the country's economic condition at the time. That is a CRAP position to be put in.
It appears that we're lucky. The decisions we made turned out to be the right ones. So far , that is...not one to be complacent me! And even though my child is (extremely!) verbal I still, to this day, look wistfully at 2, 3 and 4 year olds and note how my guy wasn't age appropriate at that time. But, like all of us, I wouldn't give him back!!
So, I'm with Belette Rouge....you are the best parents your children could wish for. xx J
To me, it sounds like a little dose of "mourning the children you COUlD have had", and that is so healthy every now and then. And, as you say, if you can use your experience to help and support other parents, THAT makes up for any mistake along the way, because it is all part of progress for the common good.
Your son is still your son regardless of diagnosis and while things can be tough, they usually get a lot easier when you know what they have, and how to help them.
xx
nan and everyone else: Thanks.
That's really all I can say without getting all worked up about it as I tend to. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Haha. I'm still upset over the time she called me a dick. And a shit. And a wan- oh, I could go on and on. She's Australian. They're terribly uncouth fuckers. What can you do?
And you call yourself Anonymous too, so there's probably a lot of casual name-calling going on that isn't really accurate or intended. We know she loves Bratty more than her own hamster self, and that's the bit that matters most of all.
Hindsight is the most wonderful distorter of what options we thought we had then.
As society and time changes we all think we could have made better choice but ....
Your lovely and it is there for all to see!!
But - you're doing beautifully and all your experience has brought you to the very point you are now. xx
-enJAYneer-
JAYtography: An Online Travelogue
Please go and check it.
xoxo
And I’ll be back…