Cancelling Christmas - Guest Post

Guest Post: Mr Hammie Writes.

Thanks to last minute preparations for the Secret Project;  I have been flat out like a lizard drinking working on that, the Work Blog (yes I get paid to blog) and the website/facebook etc etc. 

So my other half has paused from his regular trolling, posting on Boards.ie and Facebook to step in and keep the blog fires burning. 
Enjoy......

I haven't posted for H before despite being asked to on many occasions. When I texted her this photo on Sunday, she asked again and so here I go.

Firstly, sorry about the dismal title as it is somewhat at odds with the photo. This is Boo enjoying his coke and crab claws on the sushi train at Yo-Sushi Dundrum.

We had a lovely afternoon together, starting with a walk in the Glen of the Downs, then drove to HMV to buy a DVD and lunch at Yo. He likes to try new things as long as some constants accompany them. The constant here of course is his favourite beverage. He doesn't really get the train idea totally. If he sees something he likes, he feels it's okay to sample and leave the half empty plate on there while I stretch to retrieve it. But he's happy and relaxed and so am I.

I doubt anyone dining or passing would even suspect that we were anything other than a normal father and son having a Japanese lunch.

As he shops for his DVD in HMV he is so focused on what he's doing, he hardly notices anybody else to the point that he needs to be followed closely. Otherwise he will barge and bump people as he devours title, credits and information on the DVD sleeves. They see him reading the titles, etc and surely think that he is just badly behaved.

As long as the crowds are reasonably thin, it's all manageable and we have a lovely afternoon together.

It made me think of several posts I had read on facebook where parents of kids like Boo were dreading some outing or social event that was on their calender and the pressure that comes with such dread. From experience, I know that this dread often becomes something of a self fulfilling prophecy.

The dread becomes anxiety and then tension. Child picks up on it, behaves as expected, things break down, everyones head is wrecked.

So I can't stand up and say "hey, this is how we do it. We're the autistic Waltons.''

We've had as many bad days as anyone. But what I can say is that, so often these problems are not you

or childs fault at all. You have tried to bend and change to suit someone else's standards and conditions.

They have made no such allowance for you and your family.

The church is uncomfortable, people are mumbling solemnly, the pub has so many confusing smells and noises, I could go on.

Many of us remember Christmas Days where allowances were supposed to have been made but weren't.

We've had the looks of scorn because we tried to finish our dinner or glass of wine and things broke down.

Some even kick you while they're at it to get attention for themselves and their own kids. Sound familiar anyone?

So this year, I cancelled Christmas.

Boo and his Mum are off to about as far away as they could go. He understands Christmas and hopefully where he is going they will accommodate his understanding of same.

Bratty and I will do whatever, walk in the woods, go driving. Unlike previous years the dread and trepidation that came with Christmas is not there. There is no anger there.

Sadly this has not always been the case and I have by my own admission; shagged Christmas for everyone. Dealing with that I came to a sad resignation that Christmas is not for us this year.

It just isn't.

Mr Hammie.