Guest Post: Mr Hammie Writes.
Thanks to last minute preparations for the Secret Project; I have been flat out like a lizard drinking working on that, the Work Blog (yes I get paid to blog) and the website/facebook etc etc.
So my other half has paused from his regulartrolling, posting on Boards.ie and Facebook to step in and keep the blog fires burning.
Enjoy......
Thanks to last minute preparations for the Secret Project; I have been flat out like a lizard drinking working on that, the Work Blog (yes I get paid to blog) and the website/facebook etc etc.
So my other half has paused from his regular
Enjoy......
I haven't posted for H before despite being asked to on many occasions. When I texted her this photo on Sunday, she asked again and so here I go.
Firstly, sorry about the dismal title as it is somewhat at odds with the photo. This is Boo enjoying his coke and crab claws on the sushi train at Yo-Sushi Dundrum.
We had a lovely afternoon together, starting with a walk in the Glen of the Downs, then drove to HMV to buy a DVD and lunch at Yo. He likes to try new things as long as some constants accompany them. The constant here of course is his favourite beverage. He doesn't really get the train idea totally. If he sees something he likes, he feels it's okay to sample and leave the half empty plate on there while I stretch to retrieve it. But he's happy and relaxed and so am I.
I doubt anyone dining or passing would even suspect that we were anything other than a normal father and son having a Japanese lunch.
As he shops for his DVD in HMV he is so focused on what he's doing, he hardly notices anybody else to the point that he needs to be followed closely. Otherwise he will barge and bump people as he devours title, credits and information on the DVD sleeves. They see him reading the titles, etc and surely think that he is just badly behaved.
As long as the crowds are reasonably thin, it's all manageable and we have a lovely afternoon together.
It made me think of several posts I had read on facebook where parents of kids like Boo were dreading some outing or social event that was on their calender and the pressure that comes with such dread. From experience, I know that this dread often becomes something of a self fulfilling prophecy.
The dread becomes anxiety and then tension. Child picks up on it, behaves as expected, things break down, everyones head is wrecked.
So I can't stand up and say "hey, this is how we do it. We're the autistic Waltons.''
We've had as many bad days as anyone. But what I can say is that, so often these problems are not you
or childs fault at all. You have tried to bend and change to suit someone else's standards and conditions.
They have made no such allowance for you and your family.
The church is uncomfortable, people are mumbling solemnly, the pub has so many confusing smells and noises, I could go on.
Many of us remember Christmas Days where allowances were supposed to have been made but weren't.
We've had the looks of scorn because we tried to finish our dinner or glass of wine and things broke down.
Some even kick you while they're at it to get attention for themselves and their own kids. Sound familiar anyone?
So this year, I cancelled Christmas.
Boo and his Mum are off to about as far away as they could go. He understands Christmas and hopefully where he is going they will accommodate his understanding of same.
Bratty and I will do whatever, walk in the woods, go driving. Unlike previous years the dread and trepidation that came with Christmas is not there. There is no anger there.
Sadly this has not always been the case and I have by my own admission; shagged Christmas for everyone. Dealing with that I came to a sad resignation that Christmas is not for us this year.
It just isn't.
Mr Hammie.
Comments
I wish you and Bratty a very happy "Walk in the Woods Day" this year :) Hope to see you post on here again xx
(had a spelling mistake and my inner aspie had to redo the post lol....)
fantastic and so so true!! really enjoyed reading this
I've gotta grow me a pair and take the kid out soon.
Love the post XXX
I hope yours and Brattys Chistmas day is JUST how you want it to be. Shag everyone elses perception of what Christmas day should be....THEY are not in your shoes.
I too hate Christmas day. Which is really sad because I always loved it. I love the build up. Hate buying presents but love when they're bought and wrapped, love the Tree, decorations, Midnight mass on Christmas Eve etc. It's the Day itself I find stressful. WiiBoy loves it and gets it so that parts ok. It's justtthe "who's having Christmas dinner where" crap that I HATE!
The best Christmas day we EVER had as a family was when it was just the 3 of us at home:))
Good luck to u and Bratty this year. And to hammie and Boo too of course! xx
Abstaining from stressful and unreasonable holiday expectations, in favor of what's comfortable and meaningful for you and your family, is advice most people would be wise to take. There are lots of "normal" children out there being forced to expectations they can't handle at Xmas because it fulfills someone's fantasies. Your day-to-day issues are tougher, but on this one, your wisdom is stronger, too.
Tazzy xx
It's such a challenging time for our children, getting excited about one day in the year is usually just a mass of overwhelming fear for them and the headaches are tremendous, for all concerned.
I also wanted to say thank you for your lovely comment on my blog today. Great to make your acquaintance.
CJ xx
And what you said about tension and children is valid for all of us.
I don't take any notice of other kids/parents (all included) any more thanks to Hammie because it is not my concern and people should be left to just be. The most I ever do now is smile, nicely.
I would be helpful too if required. Enjoy the walk it sounds delightful.
I too wrote about the dichotomy of the holidays. It can be a tough time of the year and we all have the right to do it the way we want!
Great post.