Bereft

My dear Auntie Glen passed away on Sunday 6th June after the second of two long battles with cancer.
It's not a cliche to say she was my inspiration. Hard working, naturally beautiful but also perfectly groomed and fashionably turned out at all times. Well read, intelligent, interesting and open minded, she taught me it was okay to be me from an early age - when being me wasn´t always being encouraged elsewhere.
Yep, she was as neurotic as the day is long and kind of fragile at times. Nobody can hold up the whole world on their own all the time. She was also very openly affectionate. Auntie Glen made you feel loved when you were hugged. And I loved to hug those bony shoulders and that bumpy chest.

She was a true light in my life. And I miss her so much.

When you live on the other side of the world from so many of the people that you love, you learn to take comfort in the fact that they are just "there" ready to be seen whenever you can get back to see them.
Or "there" at the end of a phone or email whenever you might take the time to pick up and call, or write.

Life gets in the way. You don't pick up the phone, you don't send an email, you don´t manage to extract yourself from your responsibilities and get up there to see them face to face.
And then suddenly you find yourself struggling for the words to write on a long overdue card.

It´s not enough. And then it's too late.

With the funeral and all my family on the other side of the world still, it's hard to find the centre of the loss. I feel a bit like when my Liam is looking for me and he keeps saying "Where´s Mummy?- She's missing!"

Except Glen isn't upstairs, or at work, or out with her friends. She´s gone and I won't ever see her again.

My sincere love and condolences to her children; my cool cousins' Liane and Mark. Her grandchildren, all my sisters, And to my Mum; her sister.



Bill and I will miss you Auntie Glen. xx

Comments

Jen said…
So sorry to hear this Hammie, she sounds like an amazing lady. Jen.
Petunia said…
Oh sweetie, I really wish there was something I could say that could make this easier on you but there are no words. She sounded like an amazing person. We are here if you need a hug, though will not be as good as the hugs you got from your Auntie Glen xx
Jean said…
I am so sorry for your loss. RIP. XXX
Anonymous said…
Very sorry for your loss Hammie.
As far as guilt goes- it is our constant companion - at least mine anyway. I feel I never do enough for my kids, never do enough for my husband, parents - you name it.
F*ck it - we have to do the best we can every day. You are wonderful, please remember that.
XXX V
Sal said…
Oh Hammie, my heart goes out to you.
Blue Sky said…
So sorry Hammie to hear the news...the sea divided me from my Mum during her final illness, and it is so hard, but there is only so much any one person can do, you cannot split yourself in two xx
The Seeker said…
I'm so sorry my dear!!!
My feelings are related to you and yours.
Big warm hug and much love.

xoxo
KWombles said…
((())) I'm so sorry for your loss.
K.Line said…
I am so sorry to hear this L. I am giving you and your family lots of positive vibes and thoughts. Kxoxo
Taz said…
So sorry for your loss, Doll xx
enc said…
Oh Hammie, please accept my deepest sympathies for the loss of your beloved aunt.
popsie said…
so sorry to hear your sad, hammie best wishes x
WendyB said…
So sorry for your loss.
jazzygal said…
Ah Hammie...so sorry to hear about your Auntie Glen. What sad news.
She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm glad you had her in your life.

I am so sorry that this comment is so late in coming. I don't know how I missed this post, but I did so apologies. ((xx)) Jazzy
Truf said…
I read this post only now, and sympathize with all my heart. I could have written a lot of it. I got a text last week from my brother that my aunt had died - and I didn't even know she was ill. Last time I saw her a year ago and she was perfectly well. Then I was back home at Christmas and planning to see her, and my granny on the other side died, so no time or will for visits. It feels like the place I still call "home" is disappearing all the time; with every person gone part of my childhood and my sense of belonging goes as well. As you said before, it is hard to have your heart split between two places.
Diversity said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Casdok said…
So sorry for your loss. Deepest sympathies to you all x
fashion herald said…
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, she sounds like a wonderful woman.
pamela said…
sorry to read of your loss, must of been hard being so far away when it happened. pam xx

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