Well I did it! 30,000 times so Thank you.

Well, I hit the 30,000 today.

30,000 views of my blog thankyou very much and not all of them were me flicking back and forth editing. So thankyou to all of you who have been so loyal, particularly during my recent hiatus while I tended to the work blog.

I finished my official job on Friday, and while I will continue to volunteer to update the Work Blog, Facebook and Twitter; I will be spending a lot more time over here in Hammieland which includes visiting all your beautiful blogs.

I'm sorry for not visiting and commenting. I must admit I have found it really tough to get the work/life balance thing right. I mean, it's really hard for me to do anything lightly - the other morning I noticed that my hair tongs actually have a choice of settings, and I was confounded by the concept of doing anything to the "minimum".

So I am taking this next month to enjoy summer, while the kids are still in school, and charge my batteries for August which is always the tenth level of hell.

After the school run I plan to swim every morning, read blogs over a late breaky and then get to work on my new secret mission; more about that later.

And so to LAST weekend when I lost 2 1/2 hours of my life taking Boo to "Transformers Dos"
(as he called it)

Trucks that turn into robots that have to save us from Bad space robots and an Airplane that sounds a lot like Lenny Henry which used to be a Bad space robot but now wants to help the Good Robots and earth and John Turturro in a g-string (really)

But Boo really like it and the credits were good.

To offset the Bucket of Pepsi effect we went for a quick walk in the Glen of the Downs.

Not the dog shite side but the path up behind The Glenview Hotel

It's got water, bridges, stepping stones, mud and puddles. What's not to like?

Oh and the end of the trail comes up into the landscaped gardens of the Glenview.

Where someone left a chair next to the Stag

What's a boy gonna do?

Have a lovely Week! xx

Inclusion Zone

Boo watching Sushi TV in "Yo! we make crappy Sushi but great noodles"
And yes, he did make a grab for gold hello kitty after I took photograph. Staff not impressed but not as bad as the day he played with Ganesha in Mila's.
(Waiter speaking in Apu voice "Please do not play with my god"

Boo absolutely loving the little water taps at each station.
Believe it or not he went for the Tempura crab claws.
Eating the claw then the flesh, but leaving the batter!

Some of you may wonder why I like to put pictures of my kids out and around Dublin; on my blog so often.

It is not, as you may suspect: a really good way to fill a post and get comments on how good looking they both are (true) - but a way of communicating that being out and proud with a pair of very autistic small people is not only possible, but fun!

And while I would like to say it is my way of trying to push the envelope for acceptance of diversity in our society. Truth be told it is just too hard for me to be house bound and hide away. I love going out, I love my kids. Ergo - we go out.

Okay, it works better when I only have one at a time. They are not pulling me in divergent directions and as they both have such different ideas of what constitutes a fun outing, it is better to have an Angel or Husband to entertain the other.

It is also better to find common ground - stuff that you both will enjoy.

Bratty likes chicken nuggets, walking and any activity involving water. She hates to "eat in" in restaurant, preferring her home, or car for dining. I hate chicken nuggets, but I like walking and love swimming. So that's what I do with Bratty. Then we get drive-thru.

Boo likes Movies, Noodles and shopping for movies. He is okay about eating in, but a bit messy. He hates clothes shopping and walking without a clear destination.

So I bring him to the movies, sometimes just to watch the end of a film and the credits. And I can take him for noodles in busy cafes and get the kind of food I like at the same time. We compromise on shopping for Dvds, in return for a small amount of clothes trying in an emptyish shop (like The Gap)

Together, we all get a day out, and I get a chance to develop their social skills a bit further.
We also go to the same places all the time and the people who work there get used to us.

And I have to say that people can be very bloody nice and helpful. Dundrum Cinema, McDonalds Bray, Siam Thai in Dundrum and The Glenview Hotel - this means you!.

Sometimes I tell them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't need to, they either know or they don't have to.

Either way, our world stretches, and hopefully their appreciation of diversity does too.

Try it. You might like it.
xx

It's good to be alive and here

My little lady is on a cycle of waking up at between 3 and 4am, every night. We don't know what causes it so I don't know what to change to fix it.
All I can do is go into her room with my quilt and pillow and lay down beside her and try to encourage her to lie still and go back to sleep.
Ignoring her just leads to an extremely energetic session of bed jumping (note to self: get 3 new slats for bed) and squealing along to Elmo in Grouchland.

Thanks to our recent attic conversion* we rearranged the bedrooms so that Bratski now has the room furthest from everyone else. So I have attempted some control over her behavior as her screaming doesn't have as much power as it did when she was in the box room next to our horrible neighbors.
But there are limits to one's behavioural analysis techniques at 4 o'clock in the morning, and until David Coleman takes up my invitation to sleep over; Going into her room and falling asleep to the sound of Elmo and Huxley, is the "plan".
And yes I do want Huxley to win. I want to throw Elmo from the train by this stage.





As a woman for whom the words 3 and A.M should only ever be uttered in the context of an airport and a very big aeroplane - this has been somewhat trying. But I am getting used to it, and in the morning, once I can make sense of what is real and what was a hallucination/dream, I can get on with the day.

Other than that, The Brat is flying - she not only uses the iPhone to scroll through albums of pecs pictures that I have loaded; she grabbed the phone yesterday to take a photograph of something she had googled on the laptop!
Actually held it up and tried to focus on the little Fimble yoke that she was missing. So she could request it. Kid is a genius. Sure you'd have to get up really early in the morning to outsmart her - wait, that's what we do!

xx

*Wicklow County Council put us through 2 1/2 years of an application process to get a grant to do this attic - which they approved in 2008. We built it to their exact specs at considerable additional cost 6 months ago - and they still haven't paid up.
**st***s

This Weekend!

Pouring Rain this weekend. So a lot of fugging around in my dressing gown while Mr Hammie took Bratty to McDonalds, Tesco and then home.

She wanted the beach but the waves are about 6 feet, so I compromised with a swim at the Glenview.

My otter in the baby pool. She can swim in the big pool too.

Then into town for the usual while Bratty stayed with Angel at home.
(Wagamama)
ebi kare lomen, ebi Katsu x 12 and terriyaki steak soba

And now Bratty has plans for this. She can say it as she points to the picture on the iPhone,
which is very powerful. But it is bucketing down.... so I am prevaricating.

I have been talking about this promotion on my work blog. I would be much obliged if you could share the link or logo via your blogs or tweets. And if you are in Ireland and in the market for a smart phone - well this one is pretty sweet. And ten euros from each one sold goes directly to autism groups around the country. That is every phone sold, whether you get it free on a plan or pay as you go.

80% of these kids deal with some kind of speech delay which may or may not last until adulthood. More than half of our groups fundraise just to provide adequate access to speech therapy to allow these kids their right to communicate their needs and wants. That's right; they have to organise bucket collections, cake sales and pub quizzes just to give their kids a voice.

My own Bratty has very limited speech at 9 but great communication skills, if she could talk she'd tell you.... Do what you can!




with thanks to mulley for reminding me how much I like the lemon heads, and to Nick for trumpeting the cause already.

Last Weekend -

Forgive the delay in blogging;

I had all this planned for last Monday and a whole day to do it. Then when I was coming OUT of the school AFTER drop off, two cars crashed in front of me and one of them richocheted off my front bonnet.

I was fine, but one of the drivers of the other car had a dodgy back so was taken away in an ambulance and then we all had to wait for the Guards (police)

Then I wasn't fine, because the other driver (at fault, perhaps mentally unstable) decided to leave the scene before the cops arrived (illegal in the event of an injury) and did I mention he was a Pikey with a Pikey son who was very aggressive?

So for once I just rang my Mr Hammie and said "please come and help me" and then had a little cry behind my Jacqui O's.

There were two lovely witnesses who were passing at the time of the accident, who waited with me for almost an hour, just to tell the guards whose fault it was, (we formed a gang) and my car was driveable at least.

Eventually a motor cycle guard turned up in head to toe leathers, he cautioned the Pikeys and made aggressive son sit in his car, then told me and wife of injured party that the Pikey was fully insured, and fully responsible (thank God!!!) so to go and get quotes for repair.

He even phoned me later in the week to check I was okay. I was sad than my new Qashqai was dinged up, but lucky because the Micra would have been a Squashqra, and maybe I wouldn't have walked away.


So here is last weekend's events, in pictures.

Mr Hammie was working last Saturday - this is unusual as he is very much a full time Dad and spends all weekend taking Bratty to all her favourite places, repeatedly, while I stay home with Boo and get a few things done.

So this week it was up to me to entertain the princess,
and it took a few tries to work out what she liked....

First I tried out Mt Usher Gardens in Ashford. - Nope!

Then we drove up to Devils Glen,
She did not want to get out of the car and she didn't want to get Papped either!

(note Merlin Motors logo on rear window, they sponsor Irish Autism and sold me my lovely car)

I made her get out and she gave out to me the whole way round the path -
in between bolting off on her own into the forest.

Cheered up slightly by Cadbury Buttons...
(I am very cheered by new purple handbag too)

Finally something she liked, and yes she went in up to her knicks!

IN the afternoon I swapped children (I had an angel in the house all day) and took Boo for his compulsory computer break; back up to Devils Glen, but this time on the Seamus Heaney walk.

Devils Glen is full of pointless art hanging from tree trunks, some of it is actual tree trunks. Seriously, you could go for a pee behind a bush only to find someone had put up a plaque beside the puddle.

It is however virtually dog free, (or the only dog owners who use it are considerate ones)

and Boo can have a fantastic scramble around doing what Boys do - without me having to wash his sandies with dettol and boiling water afterwards.

At the top of the hill you can sit here and have a rest. It says:

"As I drew close to the pebbles and berries, the smell of wild garlic,
relearning the acoustic of frost and the meaning of woodnote"

Seamus Heaney 1984.

(Whereas the smell of wild garlic just makes me hungry for noodles)

So Sunday, life was back to normal !

Into town for Noodles at Wagamama with Boo

Then Iced Coffee (Bratty at home with Angel)

Then back to the Glen for a family walk.

The Sun is shining so no more blogging!

I hope you have a lovely weekend - see you soon I hope?

xx

Could we start again please?

Tonight I was in the Glenview hotel watching Boo swim. We go every night now while Bratty goes to Maccas and for a forest walk with her Angel.

There was another mum sitting nearby on the plastic patio chairs with a very small but alert little baby in a carry seat. This little baby was wearing the cutest little stripey jumpsuit and was sitting up looking out at the pool where his two brothers were having a swimming lesson. He seemed to be following the sound of his mothers voice as she called to the boys.

And I had a sudden little wistful thought, imagine if my babies were that small again - but I knew what I know now? And I could use that to help them through what was going to be a tough but interesting couple of years as we found out together that they were autistic and more.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change them for a minute. They are who they are because they have autism and they are strong and healthy and robust and vibrant little individuals.

But I would change many of the decisions I made with regard to their intervention, and perhaps save us a lot of lost time and heartache, as I made my way towards the sort of education and daily support that we are enjoying now.

But we didn't know what we were doing as we stood at the top of that slide and there is no magic wand to take you back. There just isn't.

So I guess all we can do is try and help the others that stand there, wondering whether to jump or climb or slide. And try not to mourn whatever loss of potential that has resulted from my bad decisions along the way.

xx

I wasn't feeling myself

Paul Smith Targets Breast Cancer with this excellent tote

I find I have a confession to make.

Two months ago I went for an annual lady health check and the doctor found a lump in my right breast.

A lump that I hadn't noticed. I will stop here and say "everything was fine" okay? so keep reading. Why hadn't I noticed? because I am not very well endowed so most days my breasts are made up of the latest science and technology available in the Bra Shop.

And what I do have is mostly made up of lumps so how am I to tell?

I should pay more attention I know. My big sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer just after her 40th birthday in 2006. And yes, she too is okay.

She had an awful time of it, several operations, a long spell of chemo, a lot of worry over getting a reconstruction (she got one - eventually) and then the recovery from all of that.

I saw her at Christmas time and she looks fantastic with her new dark Botticelli curls and pert, buxom bust line. She is doing great thank you.

I also saw her when she got the news, almost 3 years ago. I was there with my Boo for my first trip home in 5 years and she had to go and get bloody cancer.

I was absolutely no use to her and her 3 vibrant and energetic children and supportive pragmatic husband. I had to get on a plane back to the other side of the world and leave them to deal with everything.

My little sister and her family helped out of course and between them all, they got through it.

I'm not sure I would have been much more than moral support if I had have been there.

My "Double Autism" Card would have kept coming up against her Cancer Card and in a lot of ways I think having my situation in closer proximity might have made things harder for everyone.

The family needed to concentrate on the practicalities of having someone very ill to care for a lot of the time - and she needed to care for herself.

When it happened, I felt a selfish grief at potentially being cheated out of my sister.

I also had a strong sense of unfairness about it - "Hang on, I got the Serious Shit to Deal With cards in this family" and that should make everyone else immune, so what's going on here?"

And I am sorry if that offends any of my pro-autism readers. Yes there are a lot of blessings with autism, but there are a lot of challenges and they take a lot of time and energy.

But of course, it doesn't work like that. Just as science and evolution can throw up some roguish DNA that gives you not one but two kids with special needs, it throws sinister cells into people that you love and gives them cancer.

And then 2 months ago, I thought it had gone and thrown those cells at me.

Well my confession is that I am not wonder woman. I am only just about managing to juggle all the balls and spin the plates and put on my lipstick while slipping on my high heels and straightening my hair at the same time now.

I'm just not sure I have anything left over for anything else.

Things turned out okay for me this time. I got a mamo and ultrasound, a consultant felt me up and they all concurred that it was soft movable and not at all sinister tissue, probably as a result of hormones or a knock of some kind.

Say from an overly energetic and growing autistic 11 year old who doesn't know his own strength.

It turns out a lot of women have these lumpy boob scares which turn out to be okay. You only find this out when it happens to you.

And it wasn't so bad. The hospital appointment came mercifully quick and the clinic is in a nice place. The staff and equipment were all neat and efficient. It took a lot of the fear out of it....

Until that moment when they are click clacking across the tiled floor behind the curtain looking at your scans and hesitating while you lie there in a blue gown still damp with the ultrasound goop, experiencing true terror.

I thought I was a pretty brave person. I take whatever is being dished out and stand up to it and even go back in for more.

But this was beyond me.

Still, I got a reprieve this time. And I have resolved since to feel myself regularly and report any changes in the landscape of that region.

3 days later on World Autism Day I had to be the "autism host" at a Charity Penalty Shoot out (a soccer thing) with 14 Irish Celebrities and a load of staff volunteers from one of the major sponsors of Irish Autism; O2. You can read more about this here on my work blog.

Then I had to go on live afternoon television with Boo and Mr Hammie to talk more about world autism day.

It was like water off a duck's back. Because I knew what real fear was. I knew what mattered.

Wherever you are, Find out about Fashion Targets Breast Cancer and be a visible supporter.

And keep feeling yourself.

xx

Cool Camera Phone - Trick!

I got my iPhone back yesterday *kneels in prayer* and while I am trying to re-install all my bits via the pc, which is full of junk downloaded by Boo; I got bored and started looking at blogs.

And since I have been using the new Tocco from Samsung to film Bratty and Boo doing their thing (excellent camera) I really enjoyed this clip from Darragh Doyle




and how did they do it?



Yes, these people really understand viral marketing. Stay tuned for more.....

xx

Meet Bratty

Here is my little Catherine Ernshaw as Sister Wolf called her when she previewed it.
And yes I can imagine Bratty at the window yelling at me; except she would be demanding to go to McDonalds and Sandycove for a wild and windy walk along the seafront.

Forgive the blogging hi-jack; my brainy son knows the password to blogger and got in yesterday morning to post on my blog instead of his. Will have to change it now. If you enjoyed my "Guest Blogger" go directly to Boo's Blog . He types what he has learned phonetically off the myriad DVDs that he watches, so enjoy.

But back to my little singing princess...

xx

GOSSIP VHS

GOSSIP VHS
YEAR 2000
RELEASE DATE NOVEMBER 13 2000

BEWARE OF ILLEGAL VIDEO CASSETTES

CHECK WHETHER THIS VIDEO CASSETTE CARRIES A GENINUE LABEL HOLOGRAM

VIDEO PIRACY IS A CRIME

DO NOT ACCEPT IT

DEMAND A GENINUE CASSETTE FROM YOUR VIDEO STORE

POOR QUALITY ILLEGAL VIDEO CASSETTES REDUCE YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE AND JEOPARDISE FEATURE FILM PRODUCTION

AVAILABLE TO OWN ON VIDEO AND DVD

ANY GIVEN SUNDAY

LOOK FOR IT ON VIDEOCASSETTE AND DVD

WELCOME GOSSIP TRADERS AND FASTS

PROFFESER OAK YOU GUIDE TO THE SPECIAL EDITION OF GOSSIP

A GIRL VACATION

AND

THRILLER TWO STRIKES BACK

WHEN YOU RENT OR BUY A VIDEO

YOU NEED TO KNOW THE FILM YOU CHOOSE IS SUITABLE FOR THE AUDIENCES OF HOME

TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FILM IS LIKE

YOU KNOW THE CERTIFICATE HAS BEEN UNGIVEN

THIS FILM HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED
15

THAT MEANS THE FILM HAS UNSUTABLE FOR ANYONE YOUNGER THAN 15

A FILM WITH A 15
MANY MANY ADULT THEMES
BUT ALSO BEE SWARDS
YOU CAN ONLY FIND IN A PG FILM
IT SENSE A VIDEO CLASSIFIED 15 TO ANYONE BELLOWED AT AGE
VIDEO CERTIFICATES ARE GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO MAKE TO RIGHT CHOICE

THANKS FOR LISTENING