Big Scary Love

It's almost the end of January which means it is only 2 weeks until Valentine's Day or as my niece Daisy calls it: "Valloween" 

Daisy's 4th Birthday is on the 4th and when asked why she had drawn on the 14th, she replied "it's Valloween"

What is Valloween you may ask? Well let me explain:

Raising children is scary, any children not just those with special needs like mine. You love them so much and do everything you can to protect them but at some point they have go out and experience the world. And that is scary. When your kids do have additional needs that can make them more vulnerable, it is extra scary.

With Special Kids, you can also find yourself advocating, negotiating and yes, sometimes defending them in situations with people who don't really understand. A fellow special parent told me she had heard us described as "Mafia Mums" by a professional who works with her son.

It was meant as a pejorative but I liked it; I don't mind if I'm feared as long as I'm respected. When it comes to my kids: 
Don't mess with me or there will be consequences, Capisce?

I also find the love I feel for my kids quite scary. At the end of one of the tough days when they might be out of sorts or in an intense mood, when they get "stuck in a moment" and we can't work out what they need - there is that moment when they finally fall asleep. ahhhhhhhh.

So you sneak into their room to tuck them in and find,  not the raging ball of anxiety who was dominating the household for the last 16 hours, but a soft faced little angel.

That's when I put my hand on their forehead and kiss them on the cheek and whisper: "I Love You"
 And feel that fierce visceral love that makes your chest tighten and your eyes a little bit wet.

So Valloween suits me perfectly - I'm all about the Big Scary Love.

There is another kind of love that can sometimes get overlooked when you are busy parenting. And that is love for your partner. Partner as in co-parent, not partner as in co-worker - as it sometimes becomes.

Romance can get lost in the challenge of managing any family. Sometimes it's a relay where you barely nod and wave as one comes home from work and takes over while the other goes out to meetings or more work. Sometimes it's a marathon for one of you while the other is away. There are many families in Ireland that are divided by the economic need to find work abroad.

Sometimes you are the supporter, sometimes the competitor and but you rarely get to sit in the stands together and just watch the game, holding hands.

So Valloween should be a time to make an effort to remember why you got together with that person in the first place.

A time to do something charming and personal and thoughtful and surprising - to make them feel like they matter to you. It doesn't have to be expensive but it should be something they can hold in their hands and enjoy exclusively - so no vouchers for free "hugs"

Personally, I HATE flowers. You have to trim them, find and wash a vase and then clean up all the bits and change the water as they slowly decompose. They also remind me of funerals, of lost love.

I LOVE Box Sets, and my Valloween has already found me the first series of my favourite show on eBay: "Royal Pains"  I'm so looking forward to 12 hours of inertia spent with Hank, Evan and Divya in the sunny Hamptons. Liam loves this too as it means I stay in one place, so he tucks himself in beside me. A double Valloween gift.


Hank Lawson: the McGyver of Concierge Medicine.


I usually choose Champagne but lets face it, I choose that for Christmas, birthday and when we had the money; Friday! so it is not as special. And no store bought chocolates. (especially if the store is attached to a petrol station)

For a really special gift, I choose MACARONS! not just any macarons, these ones: 

Delivered in full by  www.dropdeadchocolates.co.uk - 3 mysteriously vanished before I could take photo.

Ordered online from www.dropdeadchocolates.co.uk they actually arrive in a few days and the box fits perfectly through the letter box so your beloved can be truly surprised*

The sample I chose are exquisitely deliciously perfect little creamy macarony balls of delight. I actually wiggled my toes tasting them.
And unlike certain commercial brands of chocolate box/tins - every single one is delicious. The choice is enormous with dozens of different shapes, sizes and flavours in the chocolate range. They also do taster boxes if you want to try a few yourself in the name of research.

So do it, set aside a few euros, do a little bit of research into your beloved's actual favourites (not yours) and order a box in time for your Valloween. Show your Big Scary Love.

xx

Disclosure: As you can see, I can and have been bought by Jonathan Danby and his Drop Dead Chocolates for the price of a box of Macarons. I tweeted him, he replied and the long dark nights of christmas were made creamily good when that box dropped through my door. I will do anything for more.

*Postage is free within the UK if your order is over £14. In Ireland you could use the Parcel Motel UK address and have them delivered to your nearest Parcel Motel for only €3.50 

NEWSFLASH! Edited to tell you that Jonathan just offered one lucky commenter/sharer the chance to choose TWO TASTER boxes of their choice of Dropdead Chocs for delivery by Valloween. Comment here and share somewhere tagging me to enter. Tag via my twitter @lisamareedom or Facebook me on www.facebook.com/hammie.says

Everyone who enters by the 10th of February will have their name written on a bit of paper and put into a bowl in Smythesdale, Australia where my niece Daisy will do the draw. Winners announced on Youtube. 


My protege Daisy, in training for the draw.

Comments

Casdok said…
Mafia mums. Love it!
I have so much admiration for you as you know, and you are definitely a mafia mum! I'm not sure that I'm there yet... perhaps some macaroons might help me get there?
Petunia said…
This year I get to spend Valloween with someone who has become very special and important in both mine and Munchkins lives. My Dad. I reckon he deserves some Drop dead chocs for doing all the school runs without complaining at all while I've been indisposed :)
Tara Justin said…
Macaroons are my mum's absolute favourite. We had them as treats at night while working over in Abu Dhabi but have never found any as nice since. Must give these a go!! :)
Anonymous said…
So need this box at sugery goodness, hammie says
K.Line said…
I love this post! And I have to say, I've never thought of flowers in the way you described (I am a nut for cut flowers), but man, you've got a point. And off to tweet - for fun, and maybe treats :-)
Cameron VSJ said…
Hi Lisa! My name is Cameron and I was just reading up on your family's journey. I had a quick question and was hoping that you could email me back when you have a moment. I really appreciate it, thanks!
Lisamaree Dom said…
Hi Cameron, you can email me at lisa@graceapp.com
lorraine doyle said…
looking forward to 'valentines', dha and I going to dress up for m & s dinner at home this year with boys in roles as tablesetters and waiters...reckon it'll be good cheesy fun..important to let kids know it's a special night for us, hence dressing up...adore flowers too, so my eldest goes and picks a selection to make up a vase at home , loads of yummy dessert for all , dancing to hits and netflix after
jazzygal said…
LOve the 'Mafia Mum' moniker. Perfect. You make it work so well, so effectively. Just look at how you got those chocolates!! Yummmmm.

'Valloween'... I kinda like that.
It doesn't get celebrated in our house though, as all days like that are deemed 'Hallmark Days'. #Sigh.
Just as well Valentines Day is my birthday or I wouldn't get any presents at all!!

xx Jazzy
James.P. said…
Yep....the love we feel is scary. Great way to describe it....it's so intense and transcends EVERYTHING. Except maybe when we're wiping poo off walls.
The macaroons look almost too pretty to eat, but I suppose I could force a few down XXX
James.P. said…
(Oh...JamesP is actually Jean Carroll....stupid google)
Lisamaree Dom said…
And we have a winner! Miss Daisy has drawn out Jean of http://planetoutreach-asd.blogspot.ie/ who was signed in as her partner James P. Jeannie I will contact you via FB to arrange delivery of the choccies. Video to follow
Jean said…
Hurray!!! Tell your beautiful niece that it was worth the giant bribe I gave her XXX

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